Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
