I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize