I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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