Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize