Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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