That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
did i just pee glitter
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
