There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize