jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
