Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
