It's just like the Real World with babies
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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