I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
