U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize