so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
