Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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