i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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