if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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