Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
