Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
