Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
