She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
