Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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