I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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