the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
