90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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