I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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