I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
