Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
