Don't you send me to vm
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
