Someone shit on the floor
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
