There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
