Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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