Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You are the jesus of drinking
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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