my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
