You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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