By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
