How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
