I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
