I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
