I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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