So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
