I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
