i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
