one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
