my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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