as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
