Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
