Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
