have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
