so explain again why im purple
no
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Randomize
