they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
