i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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