woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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