Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
