fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
