I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
bring money and cleavage
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize
