I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
