some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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