I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
