Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize